I get it; it's not that you're addicted to technology, but you would really rather not be without it. It's ok, I'm in denial too (we all are). Luckily, the Lizard Squad hacks shut down Facebook and Instagram for just an hour, and any subsequent attacks aren't likely to be for too long.  

However, If the thought of being without Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat for any portion of time strikes you with fear - they are your 'go-to' apps after all - then you'd better have something ready to fill the space they'll leave in your life, right? 

Instead of spending time communicating with others, why not do something for you? There are some great apps out there that help you do just that. Spend some time with my top five and feel better for it.

  

Headspace  

 

I rave about Headspace at every opportunity. It's a mindfulness and meditation app. It comes with meditation packages (including emergency meditation for when you're really losing it), mindfulness videos and podcasts from its founder, Andy Puddicombe. Mindfulness was the buzzword of 2014, but is it just a phase? I don't think so. Its potential benefits to the general public have even been discussed in parliament. With meditation podcasts starting at only five minutes long, there's no reason not to give it a go. Try it for a fortnight and like me, you'll be glad you did. 

Wunderlist 

 

I can't believe I only found this a week ago. It's a to-do list app - it sounds so simple, but trust me, it is brilliant. You can date, add notes, files and sub-lists into each task, and have as many lists as you want. Ok, so it all sounds really boring and sensible, but you'll feel much better for using it. As somebody who is used to carrying round various pieces of scrap paper with to-dos written on them, it is a relief to have it all in one place. 

TED  

 

So, apparently there are still people who don't know what TED is. If you are one of those people, that needs to change. Download TED. I'm not going to tell you about it, just download it. 

Duolingo 

 

What is not to love about Duolingo? It's a free language app. It's smart, cute and only teaches you what you can handle. It doesn't let you level up to harder classes until you're comfortable, and you can always level back down. It teaches you pronunciation as well as spelling, so you'll fit right in with the locals. I always regretted not paying attention in French class. It's great to have the chance to try again, and I can learn whenever and wherever I want. 

Pocket 

 

I read a lot online, and my Favourites was filling up rapidly with articles I wanted to read again later. Saving them to Pocket makes things a lot easier - they're all in one place and they are much easier to find than in a exhaustive list of web addresses. You can attach a Pocket button to your browser (on your PC, tablet and phone) so you can quickly add an article to your pocket. Oh, and it automatically saves them for reading offline! 

Facebook's 'Say Thanks' campaign appeared on my feed this week. Giving users the opportunity to show appreciation and gratitude to the ones they love. Type facebook.com/thanks into your address bar and see for yourself. Look, it's created a video for your best friend (assuming your best friend is the person you interact with the most) using photos of the pair of you. You can make a few customisations, but it's pretty much all done and dusted within one minute. How efficient! How quick, easy and utterly soulless.

Facebook has many friendship enhancing features. I can talk to friends and family across the world, share photos with those I love and organise chat groups with my favourite group of people (it can be hard to get everyone in the same room at the same time!). But this attempt at creating a digital connection is even more hollow that the infamous MySpace 'Top Friends' list.

'Say Thanks' gives us a glimpse into the horrifyingly efficient future they have planned for us. Making communication effortless is great - but it's something gratitude should never be.

I have been known to indulge in the hassle-free communication technology has to offer. I find it so easy to express myself to my friends in a message, but they'll be the first to tell you that I find this to be an impossible task face to face. I don't do hugging, or touching of any kind - but I use the canny blowing kiss emoji like it's going out of fashion.

You might argue that this is a good thing, it gives people like me a medium to express ourselves. To an extent, I agree. But there is actually nothing wrong with me - I'm perfectly emotional and confident and capable of communicating. Online methods are simply an escape route. I am able to harness technology and run away from affection I find inconvenient- but affection is necessary for a strong friendship. I've been given the option of an easy way out, and shamefully, I've took it.

However, even for me, 'Say Thanks' is a step too far. Cut and paste photos of your friends on to paper (with pritt stick, not ctrl + v) and sprinkle it in glitter and stuff. Buy your mates flowers and haribo or whatever they like. Bake them a cake, for crying out loud. It might look totally overcooked and look horrendous (not clean cut and slick like a pre-made Facebook video) but it's the thought that counts. That's gratitude.

Just don't. Really.

Here's a comprehensive list of why I hate them.

This list is not exhaustive.

They're impersonal

If you want to write a message to each follower, write each one individually. You don't have time to do that? Well, then don't, but definitely don't write one single message to go to every new follower. It's so obvious, and considering most of the twitter auto-messages are sent with the purpose of selling a product, it's really poor customer service. You wouldn't serve every customer in exactly the same way. I used to work in an ice cream parlour and when small children came in, I'd call them 'sweetheart' or 'flower'. Enormous middle aged men used to come in too...I definitely didn't call them that.

If you think starting your auto-message with 'Hi, how are you?' convinces me that it isn't automatic, it doesn't. Sorry. The big giveaway is that I can't answer your question - because you haven't followed me back. The second is probably that it's half ten on a Saturday night and I received your message within 5 seconds of me hitting follow. Either you absolutely love new followers to very worrying extremes or it's automatic.

It's spam!

It's no different to irritating spam emails, cold calls and texts. Nobody likes them, and it makes me regret following you. I probably starting following you because I genuinely liked your product - now I'm unimpressed by your customer service, and I haven't even bought anything from you yet!

It's lazy

If this is part of your digital marketing strategy then you lack imagination. You also lack knowledge on why people use social media. Studies show that notifications from a social media platform - from a real person - causes pleasure. This is why people fall in love with social media, and why people can become addicted to the internet.
The build up starts on hearing the 'ping' of your phone, so it's a bit disappointing to see it's just spam.

Ok, I lied. There is one time that this approach is acceptable.

This is an auto-message I received from @jpstyle_fashion. It's the only one I liked because...

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